Personal Reflections

The last 2 weeks I've been writing in my personal, hardback, spiral, handwritten journal. I don't write in it very regularly. My first entry in this book was 2 days before Zac was born. Then the next time was when Zac was 6 months. Since then, I've written it in here and there. In it, I've written routines I'd like to follow, basic to do lists, how I can be better, goals, New Years resolutions, things I want to learn or accomplish in life, timelines, things I stress about, etc. I basically write it in when I am in a reflective mood (when I give myself time to be), when I am worried or stressed, or when I'm trying to make changes in life.

I've been overwhelmed lately, with changes I am trying to make, stresses of life, and the things that I don't get accomplished each day. So I decided, in order to better see the things I do finish, the blessings I do have, and the things I do accomplish I would write in my journal at the end of each day. I have been recording the Lord's tender mercies, blessings and accomplishments.

Some of them include, the starter in car not being broken, Jon hitting revenue goals at work, finding lip gloss in my purse after I've left the house without it, a friend calling, mopping the floor, filing papers, Zac passing off his sight words and being such a good helper, a beautifully warm sunny day and a Pepsi, not missing Jon too much as he is busy with work, going to the gym, recovering from being lost while teaching my RS lesson, Max taking more regular naps, an amazing Oreo shake, successful new dinner recipes, actually making dinner, finding a great sale on a gift, my brother willing to go out of his way to help me, answered prayers in only the way the Lord knows how, and lots more.

It has really helped me to focus on the positive and think of how blessed I am. I have been more patient, less weepy, in a better mood, and more capable of handling burdens these last 2 weeks. I am working to change my general pessimism-its hard.

Something else I've been trying to do is focus on my kids.  I hear stories of other people's kids who say the funniest things. I hadn't noticed my kids getting to the stage yet, or I wasn't open to seeing it. I've been trying to pay attention more. Today on the way home from church, Max had a reindeer treat and in his little voice he said, "he has a tiny nose!" instead of shiny! It was the cutest thing.  And while saying his personal prayers tonight, Zac said, "we are grateful for Jesus' babe". I adore my little boys.

And the other day while I was making sugar cookie dough after the boys were in bed, I opened the draw to find this:

It made me so happy to know that I have two darling little boys asleep upstairs, and that I am their Mommy.  The more time that passes, the more I realize how much I need to cherish today and embrace the trials of it too. It makes for better tomorrows.